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Sneaky Sneaky


So the Lord High Poo-Bah of the U.S. Marine Corps has reacted to the gradual easing up of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" (a.k.a. The U.S. Armed Forces Tiptoe Mightily Into The Twenty-First Century) by gasping out that the Marines should not have to house gay Marines with straight Marines, so that this easing up would require the Marines to build separate but equal barracks with individual rooms so that Teh Gayz can be properly sequestered.

He also mentions that the Marine Corps is the only remaining branch of the Armed Forces that still houses its soldiers two to a room.

Let's put two and two together here. The U.S. Marine Corps is supposed to be the rootin'-est, tootin'-est, toughest, most fearless, most badass branch of the Armed Forces. They travel by land and by sea, they eat Army officers for breakfast, Navy officers for lunch, and Air Force officers for dinner, and snack on the Coast Guard in the afternoons. Their boot camp is the most feared, they have the shiniest swords, the coolest song -- these soldiers aren't supposed to be afraid of anything.

And yet, the straight ones are so scared of the gay ones that they want separate rooms?

Aha. I see a Nefarious Plot™ afoot. My guess is that plot was instigated by the jarheads to get single-room housing like all the other soldiers have. I bet they're hiding in their bunks -- straight Marines alongside gay Marines -- giggling like frat boys over how their prank is going over so well. I'm just waiting for that one nerdly gay Marine to blow the whole thing by deciding to add the cherry on top and demanding that all the scary straight Marines get their own rooms, too.


( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
Mar. 27th, 2010 06:27 pm (UTC)
If you look at it that way.. poor guys, LOLOLOL! Why should they be the ones packed in double rooms when all the others already room in singles? Aren't their rights vulnered there?
It's awesome, because yes, they surely could argue that and get away with it....
Mar. 27th, 2010 10:55 pm (UTC)
They could, but Meckinock says they probably aren't. I think we're back to realizing that the USMC PR folks didn't quite realize how that kind of speech might come across. Le sigh.
Mar. 29th, 2010 01:36 pm (UTC)
sure, I was just joking... DOn't thnk they´re the kind of guys who would stay up at night arguing about rights...
Mar. 27th, 2010 10:44 pm (UTC)
Nah, I don't think the Marines want to go one-to-a-room. Then what would they have to lord it over the other services? If they had 500 Marines on a base, and you built them a free barracks with 500 rooms in it, they would still double everyone up, and use the 250 extra rooms for storage or something.

Trust me. When I was in the Army in the '80s, I served for a while on an Air Force base. The Army looks down on the Air Force as a bunch of coddled pansies, much the way the Marines look at the rest of the known universe.

Compared to the Army, which had barracks that were three-to-a-room the bathroom down the hall, the Air Force barracks were the Trump Tower. And yet, they were getting a little dated, so the Air Force built new barracks. In a nice gesture, they offered their old barracks to the Army. The Army turned them down because they were...too nice.
Mar. 27th, 2010 10:57 pm (UTC)
Then I guess I have no choice but to believe that contemporary American willful stupidity is raising its ugly head here. Because I'm still having a hard time believing that the big, beefy Marines who charge into firefights could be scared of another guy saying "hey, nice ass." Maybe that's because I'm a woman, but, yannow, I'm just not feeling it here.
Mar. 27th, 2010 11:41 pm (UTC)
I'd like to think gay Marines have more sense than to say that to a straight Marine, but then I've never been male, gay, or a Marine so I probably shouldn't speculate.

One worry might be the big, beefy Marine coming back to the barracks to find his roommate isn't alone; and hilarity (not) ensues.
Mar. 28th, 2010 01:37 am (UTC)
I'd like to think gay Marines have more sense than to say that to a straight Marine

I'm sure they do. Especially since they risk getting killed by said straight Marine for doing so. But it isn't about whether or not a gay Marine would say that; it's about the fact that the Lord High Poo-Bah thinks that the straight Marines are afraid that the gay Marines would say it.

One worry might be the big, beefy Marine coming back to the barracks to find his roommate isn't alone; and hilarity (not) ensues.

I guess the practice of hanging a tie or a coathanger on the doorknob hasn't caught on with the Marines yet. College students learn to get over this. I'm sure the Marines could, too.
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )


by Illsaysheis

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