December 3rd, 2014


Trailer for The Hobbit III: The Search For Tolkien

I went to see Mockingjay Part 1 today (very good movie, even if I'd forgotten just how long the commercials go on before movies in Europe). One of the trailers at the beginning was for Battle of the Five Armies, and you could tell right away what was going to go wrong from the fact that they actually had Richard Armitage sitting in a chair announcing that you were about to see this trailer. I do hope that little job paid him enough to cover his shame therapy.

So here's a trailer for a three-hour movie covering possibly about the last quarter of a not-very-long, not-very-complicated kids' book. The trailer promises filler, filler, and more filler, along with posturing, Captain Obvious-ing, Thranduil's moose (which will never not be hilarious), and idiotic battle tactics. PJ & Co. also appear to have kept the cast on a slimming diet consisting of nothing but scenery, since they all had to keep picking bits of it out of their teeth. Even Martin Freeman, which is saying something, because his basic shtik is very much not chewing the scenery, even when everyone around him is nibbling away.

I guess this is what happens when you take as the title of your climactic film an event that's pretty much missing from the book, since the protagonist is conveniently unconscious while it happens (way to drop the narrative ball there, Johnny R. R.!), but still. I presume that PJ actually read The Hobbit before trying to make it into the Three Epic Films of Epicness, and therefore I absolve him of no blame whatsoever. Probably the best course of action is just to watch the movie and pretend that it actually has nothing at all to do with Tolkien, but is an independent fantasy movie with a remarkable coincidence of character names. What say you to that?

In other news, I made tonight Pheasant Night! I roasted a pheasant (which you can just walk into a butcher shop and buy, just like that!) with an apple-onion-sage stuffing. Turned out tasty and flavorful, although next time I'm going to make only about a quarter of the stuffing, since I had way too much left over to cook in another pan. But, yeah. Pheasant turns out to cook up pretty much like chicken, except with more flavor, and it's a smaller bird, so there aren't as many meals on it. But I bet the carcass will make an interesting variation on egg-and-lemon soup . . .
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