Basically, the story goes like this: Jesus has raised Lazarus from the dead, and Lazarus realizes that his wallet is missing. The curtain opens as he shows up at the Nazareth County Coroner's Office, where a not-very-imaginative secretary asks him what he needs. It turns out that, in order to retrieve his wallet, he merely needs to present some ID. . . ID that is currently in his wallet. His relationship to the deceased? Well, he is the deceased. The secretary is not convinced. She thinks he's a con artist trying to steal a dead man's identity and calls a guard to arrest him. The guard thinks he's drunk and lays hands on Lazarus to haul him off to the station to dry out. "Aw, Jesus Christ!" Lazarus cries. A chorus of angels sounds, and The Man himself shows up.
It turns out that Jesus really hasn't thought this resurrection through, and he goes about trying to fix the problem. He's still not too skilled with the miracle thing, though, and after a few bobbles (during which he accidentally turns the secretary's coffee into a rather nice Chardonnay), it turns out to be the guard who comes up with the perfect solution to the problem.
The performance was great. Lazarus was appropriately flustered, Jesus was even more hippie-like than I had imagined him, everyone did a great job. The director (who also played Lazarus) kept the chorus-of-angels sound cue and added a really nifty backlight for the miracles that I thought was very funny. There was a reception for playwrights, directors, and actors tonight, so I got to meet Jesus and the guard. And I'll get a videotape and, once the real bureaucratic red tape is vanquished, my $30 prize fairly soon.
The reason I'm not watching tonight's performance is that I'm at work. And, while we get many odd requests for information and help here at the Key Desk, tonight was the first time that blood was involved.
I stopped at the ladies' room before showing up, and I noticed a large wad of very bloody tissues in the trash can. Then I went to the key desk. . . and there, sitting with the girl who had the shift before me, was an elderly lady having a massive nosebleed. It had dripped over her sweater and her purse, and she had a wad of bloody tissues pressed against her nose. It turned out that her nose had been bleeding for twenty minutes.
Since no one should have to sit around bleeding for twenty minutes without something being done, I told the girl I was relieving to call for help. (She is a sweet girl, but gets nauseous at the sight of blood and just falls apart when presented with a real emergency.) We called the non-emergency police line, they transferred us to 911, and 911 sent paramedics. The nosebleed stopped by itself about the time the paramedics arrive, as nosebleeds are wont to do. The paramedics checked the lady out, and she seemed to be pretty much okay now that the bleeding had stopped, and she declined to go to the hospital. So everything turned out pretty much okay in the end. The lady was kind of embarrassed to have caused a fuss, but my position is, it's better to call the paramedics and not need them than need them and not have them around.
After she left, I cleaned up a few stray bloodstains and settled down to work. I have to say, it was far more interesting than the usual beginning of my night shift. . .