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On my trip to campus today, I saw a car with a sign in the window that said "This car is protected by a passive security system." I think this is probably meant to be a polite way of saying "This car has a really annoying but ultimately useless alarm." But it got me thinking. What would it be like to have a car protected by a passive-aggressive security system?

Thief tries to break into car.

Car: Go ahead. Break into me. See if I care. Steal me. Don't worry about my owner, who slaved at an unrewarding desk job for three years in order to afford the down payment on me. Don't worry about the hassle you'll cause him when he finds out that he can't use me to go to work to earn money to pay off the thirty-seven payments he has left on me. Take your joyride. See if I mind being stripped of hubcaps and radio and left at a chop shop. Have your fun. Don't mind me. . .

Comments

( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
bodkin_ra
Sep. 17th, 2006 06:18 am (UTC)
Marvin the car. The thief would soon jump out if confronted by that monologue.

Perhaps the passive security system just shoots out tendrils that twine round the thief and hold him in place until someone comes to the rescue.
frenchpony
Sep. 17th, 2006 01:05 pm (UTC)
A tendril-based security system would be awesome. It would be far less irritating than the car alarms that go off if a twig brushes against the car, and you could mock the thief until the cops came.
(Deleted comment)
frenchpony
Sep. 17th, 2006 01:06 pm (UTC)
This is the sort of thing my mind comes up with if professors don't keep it busy with schoolwork.
(Deleted comment)
frenchpony
Sep. 19th, 2006 11:35 am (UTC)
Re: A link you might be interested in...
That is a fascinating article. Thanks for sending it to me. I thought it got a little melodramatic at the end, and could have focused more on the specifics of her professional life, but one does get the sense that she's a fantastically interesting person to know.
frenchpony
Sep. 19th, 2006 01:09 pm (UTC)
Re: A link you might be interested in...
And here's one right back at you, in re our other current discussion:

http://www.slate.com/id/2149863/

(Deleted comment)
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )

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frenchpony
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